Shopping for a two-year old

From ANGRYFATGUY,

A friend's daughter turned two the other day. Shopping for a two-year old, when you are a single man, isn't easy. He told me she had said, "shit," the other day when she stubbed her toe. So I thought it was time she owned a DVD collection of Eddie Murphy, Buddy Hackett & Richard Pryor stand up sets to improve her colorfully improve her vocabulary.

The weekend we got cable I was in first grade -- twenty plus years ago. My older brother said we would watch "Porky's" and then Buddy Hackett's live HBO concert. That was a great night. Saw some really dangley boobs and then heard a fat man yelling the words, "fucking midget" over and over again.

As I was getting dressed for school Monday morning, I asked my mother, "Mom, is fuck spelled f-u-c-k?" Having a cool mom she replied, "Yes. Where did you hear that word?" I told her but she did not get angry. Cool parents like mine eventually allowed my older brother and I to cuss if we could spell the offending curse word and use it in a complete sentence.

The store clerk, after asking if they had gift bags for the DVDs, refused to sell them to me when I told them the birthday girl was a two year old with progressive parents. So I played it safe and bought play doh.

As Robin Williams said at Carnegie Hall, "Fuck it."